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Born with The Trick

I was born with it and so were you. 

To be WHOLE. To be aligned with my Self. To be able to have the sex, the life, the happiness that I want - that I deserve. To be able to SHOW THE FUCK UP. To do ALL THE THINGS, I had to face my biggest fear. Talking about politics…


And, right now, I bet you want to stop reading because you, A) think I’m full of shit or B) hate...loathe...de-fucking-TEST talking politics.


Here’s the deal. Like it or not (seriously, NOT!), we live in a Patriarchy, “a society controlled by men in which they use their power to their own advantage.”

And, no, this is not about man-hating or man-bashing. I fucking LOVE men! I’m married to one and I am the mother of one. This has nothing - nade, zip, zilch! - to do with man vs. womxn. It is to say that patriarchy, The Trick, is just a fact of our lives. We were ALL - regardless of gender - born into it!

So, Patriarchy - The Trick - really is just that. A BIG FUCKING TRICK! It tricks us ALL into believing that womxn should take up less space than men - physically, energetically, and metaphorically.

And we fall for it ALL THE TIME!

Feeling stressed? There must be something WRONG with you.

Sex drive take a dive? Yep, something is DEFINITELY wrong with you!

Workplace or financial frustration? Mmmhmm, ALL YOUR FAULT!

But are you actually defective? Or is there something bigger happening?

Check this out! In her book, “Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women’s Happiness and Fulfillment,” Dr. Valerie Rein explains how the our membership in The Trick - a mandatory, paid membership - costs us dearly by keeping us from expressing ourselves authentically.

So, we don’t take up the space that all humans are allotted and we don’t believe that we have the right to do so. We are SCARED to do it because we are told that we CAN’T and we SHOULDN’T. Yep, The Trick consistently shoulds all over us and we, in turn, should all over our Selves.

We say things like, “I should be happy with what I have” and “I shouldn’t complain. My life is good.”

And we think things like, “Ugh, what the fuck is wrong with me,” when we desire something, like good sex, that women “shouldn’t” desire or “It’s good enough” when we clearly could have - and DESERVE to have - more. More money - you know, equal pay? More sex - but wait, you’re a slut. More pleasure - Nah, you’re a mom, you don’t get to be happy.

So how is all of this a political - gross - issue?

Well, The Trick - that fucker - creates a barrier to womxn to have a political voice. It is harder for womxn to be seen, heard, taken seriously, and to hold positions in the political arena.

So, men, because of The Trick, hold the majority of power in our political system; therefore, if we - womxn - want to show up in this world to take up the space - emotionally, financially, sexually, spiritually, even bodily - that we deserve to take up, we MUST acknowledge the relationship between our own sexuality and politics.

We MUST understand that, as Dr. Valerie says, there is nothing wrong with us and that we have the right and the capacity to be successful, happy, and fulfilled IN and OUT of the bedroom!

We MUST be willing to know something about it and to engage in conversations about politics, the patriarchy, and human rights.

We MUST take up political space and make our voices heard.

If you are ready to be heard, Join the Village to see my interview with Dr. Valerie and to talk to other womxn about their experiences with The Trick and other issues concerning our sexuality and overall happiness.

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